Meet Nicole

Nicole and I on the last night of her Program.
May 2015

Leading up to my program, I read a lot of blogs, watched a lot of vlogs, and scrolled the Facebook pages at length, trying to know everything about the program that I could possibly find out. The one thing that I kept reading from alumni were their cutesy stories about meeting their best friend of their entire life, or their significant other, or their long lost brother/sister/cousin/parakeet. Whatever. I was skeptical. I have also heard this same bullshit about college, and yet as a junior in college at the time, I had yet to even make a friendly acquaintance let alone my best friend. Because of this, I was starting to feel like I didn't make friends well. 

So I went into this program expecting to be friendly with people, but not find people who would change my life. And let me tell you how wrong I was. Nicole and I trained together at the beginning of our program on the Vision House along with another girl named Ileen. My training consisted of sitting in a cold, damp basement for five solid days just learning spiels. The Vision House was an "eighteen minute long guided walking tour about environmental and sustainable living." That meant that we had to learn an eighteen minute long spiel. And don't call them scripts. God forbid. If you called it a script, they would jump all over you because people who studied scripts were in entertainment. And trust me, this was not entertainment. But I digress.

Nicole and I on Space Mountain
on my birthday! 1/6/2015

Nicole and I immediately took to each other. Mostly because Ileen would often disappear into "the Tunnels" to learn her spiel alone or with our trainer. Nicole and I were more self sufficient. But the funny thing is that I didn't really have a choice about being Nicole's friend, because Nicole did not give me a single second of peace during our entire five day experience in the basement. She was constantly interrupting my memorizing and was asking me questions and asking to study together. She's very outgoing like that. I hate outgoing people, usually, but for some reason she did not get on my nerves. Ileen did. Ileen killed me. But Nicole? Nicole was charming in her insistence to be friends with everybody. And I mean everybody. 

I could go on forever about those first days in the basement, but that would be pointless. What matters is how Nicole and I quickly became the best of friends. We were inseparable. Everyone knew it. We were the best of friends in our CP group. Plus Luke, but he's a story for another day. When I was having issues with my roommates, I practically moved in with Nicole. I would stay at her apartment from the time we got home from work until we were both falling asleep on her couch watching Netflix. Nicole drove me wherever I needed to go (she had a car, I didn't) and I think the reason why she liked me so much is because no matter how many times she offered to take me to the store, I almost always turned her down.

Nicole and I on Dinosaur, January 2015

I will tell you the very moment that I knew that Nicole was more than just a "Florida" friend but instead a friend for life. The moment when I realized just how well she really, really knew me. We were at work "green walling" and I had just had a miserable day. Most of my days started to get very miserable because of a never-ending issue with my training manager and "computer glitches" and it "not being my turn" and other bullshit (another story for another day). But it was the end of another long shift at the Vision House, I was feeling miserable, and Nicole looked at me and said "You want me to take you to Target after work?" That was it. She offered to drive me to Target. She knew how much I loved Target and was willing to drive me there after work if that was what it took to make me feel better. And it did.

We had Panda Express for dinner, and then shopped at Target for a long time. We got Starbucks and just wandered around. We kinda grocery shopped, kinda browsed, kinda had a purpose, kinda didn't. But it was great. It was amazing. And it was exactly what I needed and that was when I was like, this girl is the best person I could have ever gotten.

Nicole, however, was not spring advantage. She was merely spring, and abandoned me in May whereas I was stuck until August (of course, I still had Luke but again another long story). She had to go back to her amazing life in Boston where she was going to start grad school and move in with her boyfriend and be an adult while I was trapped in Disney. But that isn't where our friendship ends, because I formed a real, honest to God friendship with her. 

Nicole and I in Wisconsin together, November 2014

We still talk every single day. In November she and my mom coordinated this really elaborate weekend where she SURPRISED me here in Wisconsin and we spent a great weekend together. In January we went to Disney World together for my birthday. She is my best friend and part of the reason why it terrifies me to do another program is because I know that no program would ever be the same without her. 

Pended or Panicked?

My biggest issue with the application process for the college program is the Facebook Group. I know that Disney has no control over the Facebook group because it exists on it's own as a separate entity. People in the Facebook group are stupid, everyone is. Even me. Being in the Facebook group is a great way to get yourself nervous and anxious unnecessarily. But I am in the group because it also gives me hours of entertainment. It did while trying to get into my first program and it does even more now that I know what to expect personally. But it is also annoying because I feel like a lot of people in there are to psych out others with their anecdotes and analysis of situations that they know nothing about. 

Last night everyone who had a phone interview yesterday got a "Thank You for Interviewing" email. I got one, my sister got one, everyone got one. Now there are a lot of people in the Facebook group that are claiming that they got an email saying they were pended. I cannot figure out if they got the same email that my sister and I got, which for the record is not a "pending a final decision" email which is usually what is associated with a "pended" status, or if they actually got pended. I am not saying it's impossible. There are people who have gone "NLIC" today after their interviews yesterday. Screenshots included. 

But then I thought to myself, "Oh maybe you got pended, dummy, and you were just so confident in your phone interview that you were too dense to realize it." So I consulted my email. I went and re-read the email multiple times, read my sister's email myself, and then I scrolled all the way through my email, way back to the heady days of 2013 to see what email I got following my phone interview for that program. And you know what? It was worded exactly the same way as this one, except the dates are changed. And I know for a fact that I was not pended for my first program. Not once is the phrase "pending a final decision" or anything like that was mentioned in all of my emails from Disney.

So the question is, did people actually get pended or are they panicked? No one has posted their "pended" emails in the group and I don't want to be that person who's like PLS POST YOUR EMAIL. I'S GOTS TAH KNOW. I feel like I already participate in the Facebook group enough trying to squelch the stupidity and blatantly incorrect rumors that fly through that group. 

And yes, I know that I sound like a know-it-all and a bitch, but that's how I get sometimes. I mostly am doing this fact checking mission on my sister's behalf. Despite the fact that I told her not to join the group until after she was accepted, she went and joined yesterday and it makes her so nervous. And I know that it what the group does to a lot of people. I don't think that's fair. So I have taken it upon myself to make it a better place.

Friendly update: It appears that people have actually received "pending final decision" emails. I feel bad for them, but not too bad because I think I lack the sympathy/empathy chemicals in my Disney brain.

My College Program

So, this is just a little video montage thing I made at the end of my program and sometime I watch it and weep because I miss everything about my program. I am posting this because I am desperate to prove to mostly myself that I am not miserable. I had such an amazing time. 

I could probably actually just straight up start blogging about the good and the bad. That's what I will do. Stay tuned for more exciting stories from my College Program as well as current thoughts, feelings, and emotions in regards to this next step in re-applying for a second program.

Monday Morning Quarterbacking a Phone Interview

I am not quite sure why, but I seem to have a strangely unavoidable, uncontrollable disdain for people in the Facebook group from Wisconsin. And I promise you that it has nothing to do with the person, because I will be very indifferent towards their posts and then I see "Posted from xxx, Wisconsin" and I'm like "Oh God, this guy." Not sure why. I have never had a known problem with my home state before. Nearly all my friends are from Wisconsin seeing as I have had such a limited experience outside of the state. But yet, I still there scrolling through the Facebook group, passively reading stupid people talking about things they don't understand and then suddenly I get irrationally annoyed solely because this chick is posting from Whitewater or this guy is posting from Racine. Hell, I go to school in Whitewater. That should not bother me. But it does. 

(Note: The above was written before the below. What a hilarious coincidence that life turned out the way it did.)

In other wholly unrelated news, I just got off the phone with my interviewer. I typed the above part before my interview and then I got my phone interview and now I am a different person. Want to know why? Because my interview went amazing. And know what is really funny about the entire thing? My interviewer was from Wisconsin and yet, I really liked her. And we talked for over a half hour. My interview for my first CP wasn't even 15 minutes but this one was a half hour long and it was more of a conversation than a question/answer type thing. I just feel like it went really well, you know? And she was from Wausau, which was kinda awesome. She asked me about working in the heat and humidity, and I straight up said "I don't like the heat and I don't like the humidity and on my last program they put me in Innoventions and I was so spoiled because I did not have to work outside at all. As someone from Wisconsin, I am not built for that kind of weather." And she just laughed and she was like, "I get that. I'm from Wausau." And I totally geeked out. I was like "Omfg, we used to go to the mall in Wausau when we'd visit my grandpa up north!" And we talked about that for a while.

And she kept telling me that I seemed "really qualified" for concierge and front desk and I really want concierge or front desk so hopefully that means something good. In my last interview I told the girl that I "loved to talk" and then they stuck me in Inno where I presented shows. So I know that they probably honestly listen. 

But my sister feels like her phone interview did not go off so well, and I am really nervous for her. I would feel just awful if she didn't get accepted and I did. She hasn't gotten her chance to do the college program like I have, and I just want her to have the opportunity that I had. I would send her in my place with my ID and my Social Security Card if it meant giving her a chance to work at Disney instead of me. I just want her to be happy and have her dreams come true. Or whatever.

I feel significantly less cynical now. Maybe this is exactly what I needed was a good conversation with a current cast member. Of course, I had maintained this plan all along that I would probably just turn down my offer if one were to be extended to me, but if I get an offer in concierge or front desk, I just don't know how I would be able to say no to that. That's exactly what I've wanted to do since I applied for my first college program. Man. This sucks. 

Cynicism

I am trying so hard to write a second post to make me seem less like a curmudgeonly asshole old lady, which is how I feel I came off in my first post from earlier today. That is the only reason why I want to post a second post. I want to assure THE WORLD (hah, no one) that I am not as bitter as that sounded. But as I keep drafting my defense, I start on some terrible rant about how terrible the college program actually is. But it's not! If it really was that bad, I wouldn't be doing a second one! Maybe I am just in a bad mood today and that is why I am struggling at being polite.

In other news, I have a phone interview tomorrow for my CP application and a phone interview on Friday for my professional internship application. I would say "Wish me Luck" but that would imply that someone is actually reading this. Okay, now off to my real world that consists of work and not talking to myself on the internet. 

A Brief History of Me

Hi there,

I find blogging sort of insufferable. In a time of Youtube, it has quickly fallen out of favor. Reading blogs has become something stay at home moms do so they don't feel so alone when they spend their long days stuck in a house with a screaming infant and a needy toddler. Teenagers and young adults don't care. If the emerging prevalence of "listicles" are any indication, even reading for information has gotten too much. If there is no accompanying silly gif to help put a point across, is there even a point at all? And with Tumblr being so popular, it's a place where you can blog but mostly it's just quotes from your favorite John Green book occasionally punctuated by a text post about how no one "gets" you or how the boy you like (but have never actually spoken to) has a girlfriend and OHMYGODEVERYTHINGSUCKSMYLIFEISOVER. I know, I spent five long years on Tumblr.

But I like blogs sometimes. They can be incredibly personal. They are like reading someone's diary. Although most people don't get that personal on blogs anymore. They've become an industry where you post recipes that are interspersed with cute little family anecdotes or tips on getting your three month old to sleep through the night, although I am not entirely sure three month olds sleep through the night. I don't know. I don't have kids, I am just a college student who likes to read herself think. 

As I begin my adventure on applying for another Disney College Program, I have discovered that I need a place to rant. Not to my friends who just keep telling me not to do another one, not to my sister who is also applying (but for her first) so I do not want to freak her out. Just a place in general where no one is gonna actually read it, or hear it, or think about it. I need to get these thoughts out, though, because otherwise I just think the same thing over and over again until I drive myself reasonably insane. 

So here is what you might need to know about me provided that you think reading a blog about a girl in the process of applying for another DCP (and professional internships) interesting. Or a hilarious spectacle of a millennial living in a "look-at-me" world who is starving for attention. First and foremost, my name is Natalie. I am currently a senior in college, graduating in May with a degree I regret (psychology) and a minor I love (English). I am wholly unemployable and am probably doomed to live out my days working as a teller at a bank (which is what I do now). 

My Disney story is not unique, not special, not amazing. I did my cp (college program for those not in the loop, which is hilarious that I think this might be a problem considering there is probably literally no one reading this) during from January 2014- August 2014, Spring Advantage program. I worked at Innoventions in Epcot, which even the most seasoned Disney goers have a tendency to have never visited. It's an "edu-tainment" facility full of interactive learning experiences. I was a presenter which means that I "presented" shows that taught people about really exciting things like "green living" and "healthy habits." If you have only ever been to Disneyland and went to their Innoventions there, do not compare them. Their Innoventions (from what I hear) is actually amazing fun. It has Marvel exhibits and meet and greets with Super Heroes. That sounds Great. Innoventions at Epcot just teaches you how to make sure your home can stand up against hurricanes, which isn't even relevant to half the world's population (that is an uneducated assumption). 

I was not "pixie dusted" when the program started because, in general, I am a realist. But by the end of the program, I was the completely opposite of "pixie dusted." I wasn't even a realist. I was cynical and depressed. I literally thought more about killing myself than most other things in my life. I had great personal tragedies on the program, some of which still inflict me today. I suffered a lot during the last couple of months of my program to the point where I, to this day, am surprised I am still alive, let alone didn't just flat out self-term (quit). 

And why do I want to go back? That's what my "home" friends ask me all the time. They want to know why I want to go back somewhere that sent me spiraling into this darkness that they could only see a fraction of. But what they don't understand is that I would have had these problems at home too. Yes, being in Florida did not help the issues that I was suffering but I have had depression my entire life, and it just got bad down there. It could have easily gotten bad here too. Also, there is something about Disney that is addicting. Even though I wasn't a straight up obsessed "Dis-nerd" at all throughout the entire length of my program, and still don't think I am, I still find myself thinking about Disney all the time. I still think about going back. I miss it every single day.

And so I am applying again. I want to go back to the first place where I ever felt truly at home. I want to go home.