The Mystery of Recruiting

I think it is important to realize that your chances of getting accepted is not impacted by how many times you applied. I see people talking in the Facebook group about how they feel like "first time applicants" never get accepted or that since it is their third (or fourth, or fifth) time applying, they are sure that Disney is going to extend them an offer this time. And here is the cold, hard truth. Disney does not care. Disney does not care if you are applying for the first time, they do not care if you have done three programs already. They don't care. It all matters on how well you interview.

I got accepted the first time I applied, ever. And because of that, it left me with this terrible perception that it's "easy" to get accepted, but on my program I learned that I was wrong. Totally wrong. My friend Blond Luke (not Luke from the previous posts) did not pass his Web-Based Interview the first time he applied (which I thought literally no one failed). My roommate Macie, who is the biggest Disney fan I have ever met, had gotten denied from the program twice and my other roommate Sarah had been denied FOUR TIMES before getting accepted. But Kateland and I were accepted on our first tries out. So was Erin. Erin was an alum when we roomed together and she was 2/2 for on applying/getting accepted. 

But I worked with full/part timers who were former CPs and they would tell me how they had done one CP and then were REJECTED from their second attempt at applying. It all comes down to the interview. But I had worked with other people who had done multiple CPs before going full/part time. One woman I worked with had done three programs and another had done FOUR (which I find really fucking dumb but who am I to talk?). And I understand that people just try to justify what they do not understand. There is hardly any information as to how or why Disney Recruiters determine if someone would be a good fit for the college program. You could scour Google for hours and not find anything that is rooted in solid facts, just second hand information and wild speculation. 

So people try to find their own reasons. Alumni are getting "pended" to give newbies a fighting shot. First time applicants are getting NLIC'd to help give positions to people who have been turned down a couple of times. Baby elephants are given a high priority because baby elephants are cuter than human college students. Whatever. But that's not the case. That's not how it works. I am an alumni and I have not been pended. My sister is a first time applicant and she has made it a week out from her interview without getting pended or NLIC'd. I got accepted on my first time applying, and I applied on a whim. There is no reason, and that is part of the reason why applying for the college program is so terrifying. There is no reason and you have no idea how to help yourself.

I'M (not) GOING TO DISNEYLAND (probably).

I have completed all three of the interviews that I had lined up for three different programs (fall cp, fall PI, and summer alumni program). My fall cp interview and my fall PI interviews both seemed to go pretty well. I am very confident in the CP interview and I feel like I did the best I could have done for my PI interview. What did not go so well was the final interview of the three, my Disneyland Summer Alumni Program interview.

It was a mixture of me being in a bad mood, having had a long, miserable day at school and then having this 10pm CT interview and also that my interviewer made me uncomfortable. So let's focus on her since we all know I have issues taking the blame for anything that goes wrong in my life. She sounded miserable. Absolutely, positively miserable. And everything I said, she sounded annoyed with my response. She would always give me a really condescending "ohhhh-kayyyy"s at the end of every response I had for the questions. And it's not just the "okay" that bugged me, because both my other interviewers did the same thing. I think that is in their script or something, but it was her tone. I was like, please don't do that. Please don't sound like that. Also, one of my questions was "tell me about a time you handled a difficult guest" and I gave her my response and she said "Well, that is one way to handle it." WHAT? WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, WOMAN?

Also, she called me twenty minutes early. Disney tells you that your interview can start anytime from fifteen minutes before scheduled times and fifteen minutes after scheduled times. But she called me twenty minutes early. It took me so off guard because I had just gotten home from my night class and eating dinner quickly when the phone rang. That wasn't fair to me, I feel like.

Then there is the issue that since I was, technically, in attractions on my first program, she kept asking me attractions related questions, like what would you do if you were in a safety critical position and saw an accident or a guest needed your help. Well, at Innoventions, I had no single moment in my entire eight month long program where I had any experience at all in a safety critical position. And I explained to her what my role was and what I did, and she had no fucking clue what Innoventions was or what went into it. And I know that's not her fault. She seemed to give the impression that she does work mostly for Disneyland and probably lives on that coast, and their Innoventions is completely different, but I wish she had some clue. At least my first interviewer for my fall CP knew what Innoventions was and had some concept of the things that went on there.

And finally, this is definitely a "me" problem but she asked how I worked to create magic for guests in my previous role and what was the most "magical moment" I witnessed at my previous work location. Well, guess what? I saw nothing magical at all. People left Innoventions with dead eyes, void of all emotions, bored and exhausted from having to dodge people hocking their venues like merchants at a flea market. The most magical thing I did my entire program was I wrote a "no strings" for a little girl who lost her pin, and I only did that because I didn't feel like crawling around on my hands and knees trying to find it in a dark Habit Heroes room. So I totally made something up. A family, singing toilet, Vision House. You know, the usual. 

I also had these weird emotions during the entire interview. I wanted to hang up the minute she called, wanted to end the interview several times throughout the course of the entire interview. I just wanted to be done. I was mad at how it went at the end, but not upset that I am probably not going to get it. I didn't even want it at the end. Hell, I don't think I wanted it at the beginning. It was miserable. Absolutely miserable.

Also, this is just a "Disney" thing that I found totally fucking dumb. She told me that the alumni program operates on a longer timeline and that final decisions can and may be made up until May 1st, so I might not hear back until then.  Want to know why this is SO dumb? Because the program starts on May 12th with no other options. So, if, in theory, I did get accepted on May 1st for the program, I would have less than two weeks to get my shit in order and get on my way to check in. That wouldn't even be enough time to give my two weeks. And I know that is the absolute last day and I will probably be NLIC'd before then, but just the fact that is a prospect is annoying. But then again, when I got my "Thank you for interviewing" email last night, it said final decisions would be made by April 24th, but either way. That is really dumb.

Oh well. We'll see what the next four months brings. 

The Perils of Overpacking

I am full of advice about the college program. Of course, most of my advice is really bad. Like really bad advice. I think it's because I am so jaded. But once in a while I do have some semi-decent advice that I do wish to pass along to those who are willing to receive it. My advice is, unfortunately not unique to me, but my words to pass along regardless. Do not overpack. Look at what you're bringing and then half it. There will be so many "cute" outfits you'll never wear, so many "activities" that you do every day that will go untouched after week one. Just don't bring it. There is not enough room.

A girl just posted in the Facebook group (ah yes, there I go again on a fb group issue) who is talking about bringing her sewing machine. And then there were other girls who were like "I AM BRINGING MY TOO! YAY!" Don't. Don't bring your sewing machine. Those take up a lot of space. Space that just does not exist. Not to mention the fact that you will not have time to sew anything. When you do have free time, you will need to grocery shop or go to the parks! You don't want to squander a day off working on pillows and quilt tops and whatever else it is people sew. (I only quilt, so I have limited knowledge.) Right now, people think that they will have time for everything, but that's just not the case. You're only there for five to eight months. Even when you do have the energy to sew, you should be doing something that you can never do again. Go see Wishes or hang out with your friends!

I am a huge crocheter/knitter and my entire program I managed to make two granny squares and a hat. That's it! And I made those in February and then my bag of yarn and needles disappeared until I packed up to move because I just did not have time! Don't bring stuff like that. It takes up valuable space collecting. 

And the clothes. Five to six days a week you will be wearing your costume and pajamas, nothing else. Of course, this depends on the person, but for a lot of people that is the case. You either don't have the energy to go out after work or you just do not have the option because it's four in the morning and everything is closed. So you go home and put your pajamas on and sit around until you go to sleep, then you sleep until it's just about time to leave for work, you wake up, shower, put on your costume and start over again. Cut back on the clothes you bring. I don't even own as many clothes as most girls and yet, I still only wore half of what I brought. And I went out after work a lot of days. You have your standards, and that is what you wear. 

But, here's further advice, bring twice as many socks and underwear as you could ever imagine needing. I went down there and I ended up buying a lot more underwear just so I could further put off doing laundry. Since I only really wore my costumes and pajamas, laundry was something that could be put off until I ran out of socks and underwear. When my costumes got gross, I returned them to costuming and got new costumes, which meant that I seriously did not need to do laundry. I could go two weeks, which was great for me. My roommate could go longer. I was so envious of that.

So pack light. Please. I beg of you. Pack light. 

Roommates

People in the Facebook group are already looking for roommates. In fact, people in the group were already looking for roommates before apps even dropped. Part of me faults them for simply being on top of things, because I am the kind of person who works hard to find fault in nearly everything anyone does. But another part of me feels nervous and bad for them. I have seen this happen before, both on Facebook and Tumblr. Girls (almost always girls) find their dream group of roommates, a lovely bunch of (usually) six girls who are just so "perfect" to room with each other. They are always posting in the group together and on each other's walls, and they talk about each other on Tumblr about how great of a time they are going to have.

And then some of them don't get in. It's usually like, two girls, and they are devastated and their "roommates" who did get it are also devastated, but for a shorter amount of time. The ones who do get it shrug it off after a few days, decide to still room together, and find a couple more girls to round out their "amazing" apartment. And those girls who don't get in slowly fall apart because not only did they not get into their "dream" internship, but they also now just lost the opportunity to be "friends" with people they have convinced themselves are the "best girls in the world." Then, as they are still Facebook friends and/or follow each other on Tumblr, watch as their planned roommates go to check it, and move it, and get their locations, and have so much fun at the most magical place on earth while they're stuck in their small town in bumfuck nowhere Georgia, or something like that. And it's actually really sad to watch.

Trust me, I have followed these kinds of people on Tumblr. They post text posts about it and reblog the "accepted's" pictures with sad captions like, "Wish I could be there with this amazing girl" and things like that. And long after it has appeared that the "accepteds" have moved on, the rejected still sit their brooding because there is nothing to occupy their minds except some silly schoolwork and new episodes of Pretty Little Liars.

So I almost cringe when I see people trying to form these roommate bonds now, before they are accepted. I wanted to shake and them and tell them they are being premature. I want to insist that they think before they act. I want them to just. Fucking. Stop. And think about the consequences if someone in this budding Facebook relationship does not get accepted. But that would be mean. Even suggesting that someone will not get into the program is supposedly cruel. It's like, we're all supposed to act as if everyone gets accepted and act shocked and disappointed when others get the dreaded "No Longer in Consideration" emails.

A Bitch in the Bunch

I seriously need to take a step back from the Facebook group. I need to stop adding my opinion and experiences to every single post that goes up on the page. And you want to know why? Because I'm not a pixie dusted princess wearing rose tinted glasses. As has been well established, I am a jaded realist. But I justify this by thinking to myself, "Well, if they know the reality before they get down to Disney, they will probably enjoy their program more!" And I maintain that belief, no matter what people say to me. The people that I see who are the most miserable on the program are usually the ones who went into the program painfully optimistic or just plain had the wrong idea. A lot people, no matter what you say to them, believe that you go down there to have fun. They don't understand that this is work, and it can be HARD work. And then they get down there and have this rude awakening and are miserable and tend to be the ones to self term quickly. I feel like people need to be honest and realistic in the Facebook group because then everyone can understand that this is not a four month long party. It is, first and foremost, an internship. And a shitty one at that. 

There are some alum in the group who are insistent that people stop with their "CP Horror Stories." But there are several reasons why I think banning these supposed "horror stories" is more harmful than good. First of all, I think CP horror stories are fun and/or interesting to hear. I would rather hear about the worst case scenario so I can prepare myself for that instead of preparing for the "best case" and being horribly disappointed when I get down there. Not everyone is going to be working Haunted Mansion or be Jungle Cruise Skippers. People are also going to have to work Speedway or Captain EO or Country Bears Jamboree. If you get cast in attractions and go down there expecting to have the time of your life being placed as a World Famous Jungle Cruise Skipper just to find out that it is full of mean, cliquey wenches who have superiority complexes, you will be miserable. (Someone I worked with used to be a Skipper, he was a full timer just as dead inside as the best of the Inno Family, and even he felt bad for the way some of the Skipper CPs were treated by the "statused" Skippers and he hates all CPs). 

Secondly, it's good to know the realistic ways that Disney often times handles incidents involving CPs. And I'm talking about the really dark, unmentionable things that happen to CPs that is so well covered up that it is a rare day that you even know that something bad has happened. They don't tell you about how, dare I say, common rape and sexual assault is to participants. On my program, there was a housekeeper who was assaulted by a guest while doing her job! I've heard of CPs behind assaulted by other CPs and when they went to housing and/or security, THE VICTIM was termed instead of the PERPETRATOR. And yes, for the most part, these are word of mouth kind of stories that spread throughout the complexes with no factual evidence to back up the claims. These are all "a friend of my coworker was roommates with" kind of stories, but there has to be some basis in them for them to spread so far and fast. Just Google it.

Fortunately, on my program, I did not know anyone who was personally assaulted but my first week in training on my program, my trainer told Nicole, Ileen, and I to come to him or someone at work that we trusted if something happened. Wade was never a CP, he was a lady's man in his fifties who had worked at Disney since he was a teenager, and he cared and worried about us. He had seen first hand horrible shit that had happened to the CPs over his thirty plus years with the company and he wanted us to know that he was there for us. And I trusted Wade. He said that three programs prior to ours, they had an Inno CP raped by International College Program guys and since they had a different visa, nothing came of them. Disney did not fired them, nor did Disney let the girls go to the police. Wade told us that he would never let something like that happen to anyone again. He told us how he watched a lively spirited CP close in on herself and really wall herself off to the world, and that devastated him. 

But thirdly, it's just important to know about the kind of living and working conditions that you will experience down there. The chances of something super devastatingly dark as the above happening are slim, but the chances of experiencing a shitty work day/week/month/program are high. People need to know what happens when a CP gets sick, what happens when they get hurt, what happens when you have to work a thirteen hour shift for two solid weeks. But when you mention that kind of stuff in the Facebook group, people are really dismissive towards it. They act like that's a one time thing, or a rare event, or something that "would never happen to them" but it might. Fortunately, my entire program because of my Innoventions blessing, I only had one shift longer than ten hours and that was because of the way our hours worked. There just weren't enough "operating hours" to work those typical CP Shifts. The one time I did work a thirteen and a half hour shift was because we had a special event and it was actually one of the most fun days at work I had on my entire program.

But my roommate? She worked Tomorrowland Attractions at Magic Kingdom and a twelve hour shift was just a common part of her work week, especially during the summer. During the 24 hour day, Erin worked an EIGHTEEN hour shift. That shit happens to CPs. And they need to know that shit happens. And they need to know about how bad the busses can be, and they need to know how hard it is to get to Walmart, and they need to know how poorly we are bad and how badly we can be treated, because that is the reality. And it is better to be prepared in my opinion.

So I am trying to step back from the group. I am trying to stop being such a downer. But I think it is helpful and healthy to realize that Disney is a company. First and foremost, they are out to make money and work in their best interest. Disney no longer is the name of a visionary man (who had faults of his own) but is now the name of a terrifyingly powerful company that can trick stupid college kids into working for them for dirt cheap. But who am I to talk? I'm one of those stupid college kids who is willing to not only do it, but for a second time. 

Absolution of Sin

I linked to my Tumblr on this blog for some reason, although I stopped using Tumblr the same day my college program ended save for like one or two text posts that I just had to get out because it was consuming me. Well, since I linked to it, I clicked the link to make sure it works and then I started scrolling through it and now I feel miserable. There are a lot of memories that came up from the last weeks of my college program. Even the passing text post that has no context and no explanation hurt because I am the one who wrote them and I suddenly remember everything that was eating me alive those months.

I would love to tell you about Luke, but I don't like how it ends. It's a good story, I think, like the Nicole Story, but the ending is more that of a tragedy. I am convinced that I am over it, although my therapist claims that I am not. But reading through those text posts when I was in the thick of it, how Luke left without ever saying goodbye, how he just threw me out without a second thought killed me. The fact that we went from hanging out every night together, getting drunk and talking about things that I literally never talked to anyone about even Nicole at the time, and then suddenly nothing. Nothing at all. It felt like hitting a concrete wall going eighty miles an hour. 

I read through the text posts backwards, from the despair, to the confusion, to the anger, to the happiness. I don't know why I was mad at him though. I don't know why he was mad at me. I don't know why literally one day we were watching fireworks together, and literally the next day he was ignoring my texts or I was ignoring his. I don't know what happened in those two days. I don't remember why this all got so out of hand. And I wish I did. I wish I knew what I did wrong. He was... Something else, and he really kept me together when my world first started to falter and crack, but then suddenly he stopped trying to be a fix and started to become a catalyst for disaster. And I don't know why.

[Redacted]

But going through these posts I see how many attempts he did make and I refused to allow. So many little things that I didn't let him get away with that I should have. We were two selfish people striving to be the bigger hard ass in our relationship and in the end we destroyed ourselves. Neither of us are innocent. And now, six months later, I would kill to make this right.

Not every Disney Friendship is healthy, not every Disney Friendship is forever.

Pixie Dusted So-and-Sos

A lot of people are privy to the inside joke of telling a guest to "have a magical day." It is, almost exclusively, meant as a way to say "fuck off" to guests who are rude or idiots. Sure, there are some people who legitimately mean it when they say it, but for the most part, no. You do not tell a guest to "have a magical day" unless your true meanings are absolutely sinister. I remember Nicole on one of her first days told a guest to have a magical day and one of the full timers looked at her horrified and said "Those people were so nice! Why would you say that to them?" Because she didn't know.

Well, there is another derogatory term for cast members that sounds really sweet but it's actually a horrible thing to say about someone. It's to say they are "too pixie dusted." I am not sure if this is universal across property, but at Inno we said it all the time. "Oh, that new CP is so 'pixie dusted.' I can't wait to see them crash and burn" or "Maybe it's because I'm still pixie dusted but I think this is a great move by the company." Everyone said it about everyone. It wasn't just something that was said about CPs, although they were mostly the one's that still had pixie dust in their eyes. But there were people of ever status that would be called that. And the weirdest thing is when people would call themselves "pixie dusted" in a defeated tone.

I remember a full timer who was training me on Where's The Fire? towards the end of my program talking shit about my fellow trainee. He was bitter and tired and ready for his program to be over since it literally ended in a week, and she looked at me sadly and said "Maybe I'm just too pixie dusted, but I think this is a great venue to connect with guests." She seemed so sad that she was still "pixie dusted" and that is really fucked. Someone should be happy to be pixie dusted! But that's not how it worked where I was. Still being enamored with the Disney "magic" was seen as a fault. Only the most foolish would be passionate about making memories for families. If you weren't jaded and cynical, you weren't cool. (Come to think of it, this might actually be pretty exclusive to Innoventions. It was a really fucked place where people went to have their spirits die.)

And the saddest thing is, and this is probably not shocking to anyone, is that I would accuse people of being "pixie dusted" all the time too. People who genuinely smiled were the enemy. Hell, I just went to Disney a couple of weeks ago for my birthday and we went back to Inno to visit our friends and I made a derogatory remark about someone being pixie dusted then! Here's the story. I was talking to two full timers about how great it was staying at the resorts and being 100% a guest, with no affiliation to the company at all, and I made the comment to the two full timers "You don't have to think for yourself at all in the resorts. Now I know why guests can be so stupid!" And one of the full timers bitched me out for saying that. First off, I do not work for the company at all anymore. So I can say what I want about whoever I want without facing any disciplinary action. Secondly, guests can be stupid! Guests are stupid everywhere! At Target (where we also call them guests), those assholes can be stupid! And it's not every guest, but it's a lot of them. But I walked away, annoyed, grumbling to Nicole about how this Full Timer was so "pixie dusted" and she needed to get over herself. And it didn't stop there. I kept grumbling. "She has been stuck in this entry level position for years and she still has pixie dust in her eyes. Grow up!" I was really annoyed. And it's not fair. If she is still that passionate about working for Disney, that is a gift. We should not speak ill of those people.

But obviously everyone is a little pixie dusted. That is the only explanation as to why all these college educated adults work for pennies to create magic for these families when they can hardly afford to put gas in their cars. No matter how rude we all are to each other about being passionate about the Disney Ideal, there is a reason why we all stick around. There is a reason why we all want to go back. We truly believe it. We are all Pixie Dusted.